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A Funny Thought

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Jul 29, 2007 7:49 pm

With apologies to doorknocking EDJ brokers, I couldn't resist posting the following. As a consolation, since I'm part French-Canadian, you can make fun of my background.

I was watching the 12th rerun of Dateline's, "To Catch A Predator", last night.

Anyway, I got to thinking that it would be funny if an EDJ broker, who was doorknocking the same neighborhood, accidently timed his intro at the same time Dateline was expecting a predator to show up.

Scenario: The EDJ broker (Joe Schmo) knocks on the door. A young-sounding girl says come on in. The broker walks into the kitchen, just as Chris Hansen (the show's host) enters:

Joe: "Hi, I'm Joe Schmo from Edward Jones."

Chris: "I'm Chris Hansen from NBC's Dateline. So Joe, what are you doing here?"

Joe: "Oh, uhh, I just wanted to introduce myself and..."

Chris (interrupting and slamming his fist onto the kitchen countertop): "Cut the crap, Joe! We know why you're here! We've got the pictures of your p*nis you sent over the internet, along with the graphic details of your fantasy date with a 13-year old. Did you know what you've done is a felony?"

Joe: "Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?" Uh, uh, I just wanted to show you some bonds, uhhhh."

Chris: "So, you're into bondage of 13-year old girls, are you you perv!!"

Joe: "No, no, I can explain. My boss says we have to doorknock 25 homes a day and I was just..." 

Chris (interrupting): "So, not only do you surf the net for underage girls, you also go to homes hoping to find them alone, eh?"

Joe: "No, no, there's been a big mistake..."

Chris: "Yeah, and you made it buddy. Now, get the h*ll out of here, you perv!"

In a panic, Joe runs out the front door, scattering mutual fund brochures all across the front lawn, just as cops tackle him, cuff him, and throw him in the back of the squad car.

Joe was later cleared of the charges. However, the local NBC-affiliate, in an effort to boost ratings, aired a live segment from the Predator show and this was it.

Joe's career never recovered.

Jul 29, 2007 8:11 pm

Perverted behaviour has always existed. Of course it needs to be ‘exposed’ - I like your humour as much as NBC just basically turning it into entertainment. I wonder how many perverts are fascinated with the show. Being able to walk the neighborhood and meet people seems like a pretty basic and traditional American value - although I don’t want anyone coming to my door to selling anything. Things have changed a lot over the years.

Jul 29, 2007 9:22 pm

Lol, absolutely hilarious post.

Jul 29, 2007 10:38 pm

Why do we give the gays a pass when they claim that they are naturally attracted to other boys, but we don’t to these scumbags who are attracted to kids?

Jul 30, 2007 1:14 am

dobe.....lmfao...... so funny.  

On the other hand, let me tell you about the 300 pound guy who answered the door I knocked on wearing nothing but a pair of dirty baggy coveralls with the fly open.    Come on in he says.  Ummmm I'll just leave this brochure......gtg.  Baaacking away from the door very slowly so as not to irritate the pit bull inside the house.

sounds of dueling banjos in the background

Jul 30, 2007 1:15 am

wait…wait…HE was wearing the coveralls.  I had on heels and a nice dress.

Jul 30, 2007 3:24 am

sounds of dueling banjos in the background

At least it was a house in a neighborhood... and not on the Chattahoochee river.

Jul 31, 2007 12:07 am

Did he say you had a purdy mouf?