Thanks to Borker and a little inventiveness earlier, tonight’s edition will only feature 23 complaints. For those of you who have your own, I will post one more after my 23 tonight and I invite you to vent your own complaints.



1) The fact one minute you are a rock star and the next you the lowest of the low.

2) The fact that you have to pay for chargebacks AND you only get 40%.

3) The fact that those cheap bastards make you pay for stamps

4) That they get upset when you get a client NOT knocking on a door

5) That when they ask you to speak in front of the region and you tell them what you are doing and it doesn’t go along with Jones master plan - they ostracize you.

6) The fact that my old FSD couldn’t have been more than fifteen and likely wasn’t shaving

7) Or how about a guy who went from the PASS program to a $50 mil office, churned and burned for two and a half years, and was sent back to the home office to be part of the “advisory solutions” team.

8) The fact that while they are not supposed to have territories… they DO in fact have territories!

9) Or how about a Jones FA who calls you up after you meet with a large prospect, and says, “So I hear you met with Ed, who works at XYZ.” Why, yes Bill I did. “Well, you know that I get all of the rollovers from XYZ”. Not this one bitch!

10) The fact that the roleplaying they do is bogus and a bunch of crap. Knock, knock “who’s there?” “Edward Jones broker.” “Edward Jones broker who?” Edward Jones broker dan you son!

11) The fact that if you send an email that talks about a security to a client who is serving in Iraq, it gets banned and you get a call from FSD. He’s in Iraq, bitches! I can’t pick up the handset, squeeze it a few times and get Joe on the phone!~

12) The fact an FA shows you his shoes and how he door-knocked his way to success and how worn they are - but on closer inspection - it is obvious that his dog started chewing the shit out of them.

13) The fact that a guy got a chunk of his ass bitten off (23 stitches I believe) and they are praising this guy like he is the ultimate advisor

14) The fact that leadership (regional) doesn’t know jack (or jill) about financial planning or securities

15) Or how about when someone tells you he got that $24k month from doorknocking because his mentor told him to tell everybody that, only to find out that it was his grandfather - I guess grandpa makes you knock and wipe your feet before he hands you a couple of million and tells you what to do with it.

16) The fact the Jones trips have Jones people there.

17) Or using a PDA to look at the contact management system is garbage - if you can’t see account info, what good is it?

18) The fact that the technology advisor was so old that technology to him consisted of when stirrups were invented for horseback riding.

19) Or how about a girl takes over a $58 million branch and when people ask her how she is making $8k per month as a new existing, she replies, “I just make 25 contacts a day”.

20) Or how about it takes “liquid courage” for someone who is your “segment leader” to tell you that you are undermining everything they are trying to do at Jones.

21) Those same people get mad when you tell them you’ll carve designs in their throats with your fingers if they don’t keep their mouths closed.

22) Or how at every regional meeting they play those stale ass videos designed to give you vertigo

23) Here’s a good one. How about when you try to set up an endowment for someone close to you and you are told that “Jones doesn’t do that” then two months later, “Jim Bob’s daughter died, we are setting up this fund and I think you should all contribute”. Real names have been changed to protect the innocent.





Ok. that’s 23 for tonight.



I’ll start a new one and you can fill in your complaints:



1) The fact that people who love Jones are brainwashed tools who think that they work for the greatest company in the world, when in fact, it’s a scam to take from people who can ill afford to lose their money.

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