UIT’s maybe

Tell him that the interest will be OK if he instructs you to send it to Bin Laden.

He will give you Bin Laden's address.

You can give that information to Secretary Rumsfeld.

Then you will become a national hero and get laid by 72 virgins.

It will work, trust me on this.

and my comment about someone’s wife being a greeter at Wal-Mart got censored? how come the inequity?

Zero Coupon Bonds?

[quote=iconsult100]Zero Coupon Bonds?[/quote]

A good Muslim would REALLY HATE to owe taxes on phantom income.

Zeros incur a tax liability every year and that liability is taxed as ordinary income--I believe.

Of course that's not interest in the truest sense.

Growth only stocks that pay no dividends.

Actually, I would show him the door.  Even though his objections are religiously based  they are unreasonable.  He wants you to perfrom miiracles    He will make your life a living hell.

[quote=waterboy]

Met a potential client today. Problem is his religion( Muslim ) prevents him from earning interest.Trying to figure out how to devise a plan that is compliant with his beliefs. Most mutual funds have a % of assets that are in a cash acct( earning int.).Capital gains are o.k.

A 100% equity portfolio maybe?

will dividends from REITS be o.k ?

If anyone has any knowledge on this ,their help will be greatly appreciated.

[/quote]

Tell him that you don't work with muslims.

tell them that you have a fund in which westerners are held against their will and are beheaded unless the familys pay a ransom.



Muslems should really like this fund. I think it is called the jahadist growth fund





just playing around

There are funds that cater to Muslim beliefs. Not sure…Amana Fund? I have several Muslim clients and they don’t get in too big a sweat about where the $$ comes from.

[quote=Revealer]There are funds that cater to Muslim beliefs. Not sure....Amana Fund? I have several Muslim clients and they don't get in too big a sweat about where the $$ comes from.[/quote]

I think you're right about that, Revealer. I've yet to hear any Saudi sheik talking on CNBC back away from profits, regardless of the source.

[quote=Revealer]There are funds that cater to Muslim beliefs. Not sure…Amana Fund? I have several Muslim clients and they don’t get in too big a sweat about where the $$ comes from.[/quote] I looked it up. It is Amana Funds (2). Unfortunately…no load. Maybe their beliefs also include not paying brokers.

A terriorist wakes up after being killed by a Marine.  As he opens his eyes, there's John Adams standing in front of him.  John kicks him in the face, punches him in the gut and stomps off.

The terriorist comes to again and who is there but James Madison.  James stomps him in the face and proceeds to kick his ass and then stomps off.

The terriorist then comes to again and who's there but  very angry Davy Crockett.  Davy proceeds to once again beat the crap out of the guy and then starts to walk away.  The terriorist rattles his head and wipes the blood away and yells out... where are all the virgins.  Where's my 72 virgins!  I want my virgins!

At that point Davy turns around and says, "it's 72 Virginians you idiot!"

Davy was from Tennesee and Adams was from Massachusetts.  Try using Jefferson and Washington next time.

[quote=Pandale]Davy was from Tennesee and Adams was from Massachusetts.  Try using Jefferson and Washington next time.[/quote]

It was a joke.  I"ll bet you don't think ET flew by the moon either.

[quote=Pandale]Davy was from Tennesee and Adams was from Massachusetts.  Try using Jefferson and Washington next time.[/quote]

Davy was:

Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee.
Cleanest state in the land of the free

You may not know that unless you also had a coonskip hat.

[quote=Malcolm]

A terriorist wakes up after being killed by a Marine.  As he opens his eyes, there's John Adams standing in front of him.  John kicks him in the face, punches him in the gut and stomps off.

The terriorist comes to again and who is there but James Madison.  James stomps him in the face and proceeds to kick his ass and then stomps off.

The terriorist then comes to again and who's there but  very angry Davy Crockett.  Davy proceeds to once again beat the crap out of the guy and then starts to walk away.  The terriorist rattles his head and wipes the blood away and yells out... where are all the virgins.  Where's my 72 virgins!  I want my virgins!

At that point Davy turns around and says, "it's 72 Virginians you idiot!"

[/quote]

Actually there really are 72 virgins waiting.  Unfortunately they are all Catholic Nuns.....with rulers. Watch those knuckles!!

[quote=babbling looney][quote=Malcolm]

A terriorist wakes up after being killed by a Marine.  As he opens his eyes, there's John Adams standing in front of him.  John kicks him in the face, punches him in the gut and stomps off.

The terriorist comes to again and who is there but James Madison.  James stomps him in the face and proceeds to kick his ass and then stomps off.

The terriorist then comes to again and who's there but  very angry Davy Crockett.  Davy proceeds to once again beat the crap out of the guy and then starts to walk away.  The terriorist rattles his head and wipes the blood away and yells out... where are all the virgins.  Where's my 72 virgins!  I want my virgins!

At that point Davy turns around and says, "it's 72 Virginians you idiot!"

[/quote]

Actually there really are 72 virgins waiting.  Unfortunately they are all Catholic Nuns.....with rulers. Watch those knuckles!!

[/quote]

I heard a member of Congress got in very hot water when he said all 72 virgins looked like Helen Thomas. Some people have no sense of humor 

[quote=mikebutler222][quote=babbling looney][quote=Malcolm]

I heard a member of Congress got in very hot water when he said all 72 virgins looked like Helen Thomas. Some people have no sense of humor 

[/quote]

PUUULLLEEEEAAASSSEEEE!

I just had supper.   Have you no sense of decorum Mike?

Shoot ,they want socially resposible funds as well.

Can you believe the irony

Meeting tmmw. Let ya know