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LEAST Favorite Clientele

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Jun 7, 2006 2:43 pm

[quote=joedabrkr] [quote=babbling looney]

People who make unreasonable demands and watch their investments every day. For example. I have a client who brought 260K cash in 2002 and insisted he needed 34k income a year on a monthly basis and didn't want to take much risk!!!   We are talking a 13% to 15% return to get that much income without dipping into principle at some point. He wanted all bonds, cds or other "safe" investments. I literally had to force him to put some into growth and income mutual funds.  So after over 4 years of income (0ver $140K) we are down in the portfolio by 49K.   He called me practically every month to discuss the gains an losses in the portfolio.  He just can't understand why he is losing money

Geez ...guy WTF do you want from me? You want over a 15% return in the lowest interest rate environment we have had in 50 years and expect to get that on a gradually diminishing pool of money because you are sucking the principle up along with every penny of gain or income I can generate. While taking no risk.   aaaagh.  I should have cut him loose long ago.

I usually avoid teachers too because they have pr oven to me to be about the densest people on earth.  They don't think so of course.

Doctors have a God complex and they are difficult to deal with too.

[/quote]

All due respect Babs(and you know I mean it), but you most likely made the mistake when you agreed to take him on as a client once you heard his expectations.  If you and he couldn't to some agreement with lower goals, you should have refused to open the account.  Let it be someone else's problem.
[/quote]

You are very right!!!  I thought that he had understood , after extensive discussion, in the beginning that we would be eroding principle and that there was no way to accomplish both his goals, income and safety.  My fault. I should have not accepted him as a client.  Sigh.  Live and learn.

Jun 7, 2006 2:55 pm

Document, document, document… On the walls, on Outlook or your CRM, in the clients file, on their forehead, wherever…

Jun 7, 2006 2:59 pm

[quote=blarmston]Document, document, document..... On the walls, on Outlook or your CRM, in the clients file, on their forehead, wherever....[/quote]

WERD!!

Jun 7, 2006 4:54 pm

Least favorite are people who have no respect for money given to them- inheritance. I took a couple who didn't have two nickels to rub together before they got nearly a million dollar inheritance. It was beautiful portfolio and they could have lived very comfortably for the rest of their lives- but then they started shopping. And spending. And making decisions. ALSO- would drop in to let me know how 'difficult' it was to have all this money. THEN wanted to know why their portfolio went down? Well, you spent $36,000 on average every month for the last year. Bought a Harley- $45,000 - custom paint job- parked in front of their favorite bar- it got stolen. They didn't have insurance- WHY!? I asked- why would we need insurance ifn' we paid cash fer it?  Can you wire another $45,000 out to Harley dealership, we ordered a new one.

THAT'S IT- GO AWWAYYY!

Jun 7, 2006 4:55 pm

P.S. Teachers, Preachers/ Lawyers/Doctors

AND REAL ESTATE AGENTS- Not that they ever have any money.

Jun 7, 2006 5:15 pm

[quote=munytalks]

Least favorite are people who have no respect for money given to them- inheritance. I took a couple who didn't have two nickels to rub together before they got nearly a million dollar inheritance. It was beautiful portfolio and they could have lived very comfortably for the rest of their lives- but then they started shopping. And spending. And making decisions. ALSO- would drop in to let me know how 'difficult' it was to have all this money. THEN wanted to know why their portfolio went down? Well, you spent $36,000 on average every month for the last year. Bought a Harley- $45,000 - custom paint job- parked in front of their favorite bar- it got stolen. They didn't have insurance- WHY!? I asked- why would we need insurance ifn' we paid cash fer it?  Can you wire another $45,000 out to Harley dealership, we ordered a new one.

THAT'S IT- GO AWWAYYY![/quote]

Wow...I had one of those a few years back...go an unexpected million dollar windfall...blew through $200K before they even found an advisor...proceeded to piss through all but 80K 18 months later...husband had been in jail, son had been in jail, wife had relapsed into cocaine.  I had clues and ignored them.  When they got down to 80K, I cashed them out and fired them and vowed to NEVER ignore the signals again!!!

Avoid "lottery winners" like the plague.  If they were used to making $25K/year, and inherit a mil, they'll find a way to blow it.  I was arrogant enough to think I could put them on a disciplined budget and make the money last...what a [email protected] I was...don't make the same mistake!

Jun 7, 2006 6:08 pm

Stock jockeys.  Or I should say the guys who say they are stock jockeys.  Looking to make a quick buck.  Worriers.  Idiot do it yourselvers who screw up then come crying to you with no assets left to work with.

Jun 7, 2006 6:38 pm

I have a 2.5 million dollar client who I am always on edge with because I never know where he stands on things.  Is he happy or not?  I can never tell.  If I never called him, I don’t think he would ever call me either.  I cant stand that because I always like to know where I stand with large accounts.  I have absolutely know idea how this guy feels about things.  Stresses me out. 

Jun 7, 2006 7:00 pm

Malcolm - we have a lady who is worth about 2 - 3 million and she is THE biggest cheapskate I've ever seen. She openly admits to going to the "lunch & learn" seminars with no intention of investing anything, she just wants the free lunch. She tells us how she dumps the candy bowl in her purse from the doctors office.

Anyway - she is also THE biggest crab and her moods range from cheap & crabby to giggly & charming. We've started calling her Cybil because we never know until she calls in whether it's a "good medication" day  or a "bad medication" day .

Jun 7, 2006 7:51 pm

People with their entire net worth in annuities. 

Jun 7, 2006 9:29 pm

I love all my clients!

Jun 7, 2006 10:48 pm

[quote=Malcolm]I have a 2.5 million dollar client who I am always on edge with because I never know where he stands on things.  Is he happy or not?  I can never tell.  If I never called him, I don't think he would ever call me either.  I cant stand that because I always like to know where I stand with large accounts.  I have absolutely know idea how this guy feels about things.  Stresses me out.  [/quote]

In other words, the guy just likes to jerk you around because he HAS $2.5Mil and thinks that entitles him?  Next time he comes in for a Portfolio Review, pull out a pair of Fossil Man glasses and see how he likes that!

Jun 7, 2006 11:32 pm

[quote=Incredble Hulk]

I love all my clients!

[/quote]

Speaking of which, how is your family?

Sorry, I couldn't help it

Jun 8, 2006 12:17 am

Indyone:

Avoid "lottery winners" like the plague.  If they were used to making $25K/year, and inherit a mil, they'll find a way to blow it.  I was arrogant enough to think I could put them on a disciplined budget and make the money last...what a [email protected] I was...don't make the same mistake!

----------------------------------------------

Easy solution to that problem. Simply, stick them in an annuity with a 15-year surrender period. You make money, they're forced to stick with a budget, everybody wins!

Jun 8, 2006 12:54 am

What do you mean, how is my family?

They are GREAT!

Jun 8, 2006 2:24 am

Let’s every one of us be like Incredble and then life can be GREAT!

Jun 8, 2006 3:00 am

Life is GREAT!

Jun 8, 2006 3:29 am

[quote=doberman]Indyone:

Avoid "lottery winners" like the plague.  If they were used to making $25K/year, and inherit a mil, they'll find a way to blow it.  I was arrogant enough to think I could put them on a disciplined budget and make the money last...what a [email protected] I was...don't make the same mistake!

----------------------------------------------

Easy solution to that problem. Simply, stick them in an annuity with a 15-year surrender period. You make money, they're forced to stick with a budget, everybody wins![/quote]

Dobe, I can't think of a mechanism that those idiots wouldn't have tried to beat somehow.  A surrender charge wouldn't have stopped them.  They would have sold a SPIA to a discounter.  Heck, I don't even think an irrevocable trust would have saved them...I can see them in court claiming a "hardship".

You just can't save some people from themselves...

Jun 8, 2006 5:50 am

[quote=munytalks]

Least favorite are people who have no respect for money given to them- inheritance. I took a couple who didn't have two nickels to rub together before they got nearly a million dollar inheritance. It was beautiful portfolio and they could have lived very comfortably for the rest of their lives- but then they started shopping. And spending. And making decisions. ALSO- would drop in to let me know how 'difficult' it was to have all this money. THEN wanted to know why their portfolio went down? Well, you spent $36,000 on average every month for the last year. Bought a Harley- $45,000 - custom paint job- parked in front of their favorite bar- it got stolen. They didn't have insurance- WHY!? I asked- why would we need insurance ifn' we paid cash fer it?  Can you wire another $45,000 out to Harley dealership, we ordered a new one.

THAT'S IT- GO AWWAYYY!

[/quote]

I feel your pain.  I recently booted a client that had inherited an obscene amount of money.  When we first met, he was just a nice, but simple, young guy with more money than he knew what to do with.  Unfortunately, a fondness for shiny new cars (he bought 4 in the short time I had him as a client) and a drug habit soon followed.  He literally blew hundreds of thousands in less than 6 months.  I did a liquidate and transfer, but in reverse. 

My experience with this guy reminds me of the old joke about owning a boat:  the the two happiest days of boat ownership are the day you buy it, and the day you sell it.  That's exactly how I felt about him.  When he first showed up with that huge pile of cash, I though it was the best day of my career.  But the day I booted him was actually much more satisfying.

Jun 8, 2006 4:23 pm

[quote=lawsucks][quote=munytalks]

Least favorite are people who have no respect for money given to them- inheritance. I took a couple who didn't have two nickels to rub together before they got nearly a million dollar inheritance. It was beautiful portfolio and they could have lived very comfortably for the rest of their lives- but then they started shopping. And spending. And making decisions. ALSO- would drop in to let me know how 'difficult' it was to have all this money. THEN wanted to know why their portfolio went down? Well, you spent $36,000 on average every month for the last year. Bought a Harley- $45,000 - custom paint job- parked in front of their favorite bar- it got stolen. They didn't have insurance- WHY!? I asked- why would we need insurance ifn' we paid cash fer it?  Can you wire another $45,000 out to Harley dealership, we ordered a new one.

THAT'S IT- GO AWWAYYY!

[/quote]

I feel your pain.  I recently booted a client that had inherited an obscene amount of money.  When we first met, he was just a nice, but simple, young guy with more money than he knew what to do with.  Unfortunately, a fondness for shiny new cars (he bought 4 in the short time I had him as a client) and a drug habit soon followed.  He literally blew hundreds of thousands in less than 6 months.  I did a liquidate and transfer, but in reverse. 

My experience with this guy reminds me of the old joke about owning a boat:  the the two happiest days of boat ownership are the day you buy it, and the day you sell it.  That's exactly how I felt about him.  When he first showed up with that huge pile of cash, I though it was the best day of my career.  But the day I booted him was actually much more satisfying.

[/quote]

GREAT Analogy- I love it! That exactly describes how it feels!