Daily 25 EJ complaints

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Feb 12, 2009 6:55 pm

Thanks to Borker and a little inventiveness earlier, tonight's edition will only feature 23 complaints. For those of you who have your own, I will post one more after my 23 tonight and I invite you to vent your own complaints.



1) The fact one minute you are a rock star and the next you the lowest of the low.

2) The fact that you have to pay for chargebacks AND you only get 40%.

3) The fact that those cheap bastards make you pay for stamps

4) That they get upset when you get a client NOT knocking on a door

5) That when they ask you to speak in front of the region and you tell them what you are doing and it doesn't go along with Jones master plan - they ostracize you.

6) The fact that my old FSD couldn't have been more than fifteen and likely wasn't shaving

7) Or how about a guy who went from the PASS program to a $50 mil office, churned and burned for two and a half years, and was sent back to the home office to be part of the "advisory solutions" team.

8) The fact that while they are not supposed to have territories..... they DO in fact have territories!

9) Or how about a Jones FA who calls you up after you meet with a large prospect, and says, "So I hear you met with Ed, who works at XYZ." Why, yes Bill I did. "Well, you know that I get all of the rollovers from XYZ". Not this one bitch!

10) The fact that the roleplaying they do is bogus and a bunch of crap. Knock, knock "who's there?" "Edward Jones broker." "Edward Jones broker who?" Edward Jones broker dan you son!

11) The fact that if you send an email that talks about a security to a client who is serving in Iraq, it gets banned and you get a call from FSD. He's in Iraq, bitches! I can't pick up the handset, squeeze it a few times and get Joe on the phone!~

12) The fact an FA shows you his shoes and how he door-knocked his way to success and how worn they are - but on closer inspection - it is obvious that his dog started chewing the shit out of them.

13) The fact that a guy got a chunk of his ass bitten off (23 stitches I believe) and they are praising this guy like he is the ultimate advisor

14) The fact that leadership (regional) doesn't know jack (or jill) about financial planning or securities

15) Or how about when someone tells you he got that $24k month from doorknocking because his mentor told him to tell everybody that, only to find out that it was his grandfather - I guess grandpa makes you knock and wipe your feet before he hands you a couple of million and tells you what to do with it.

16) The fact the Jones trips have Jones people there.

17) Or using a PDA to look at the contact management system is garbage - if you can't see account info, what good is it?

18) The fact that the technology advisor was so old that technology to him consisted of when stirrups were invented for horseback riding.

19) Or how about a girl takes over a $58 million branch and when people ask her how she is making $8k per month as a new existing, she replies, "I just make 25 contacts a day".

20) Or how about it takes "liquid courage" for someone who is your "segment leader" to tell you that you are undermining everything they are trying to do at Jones.

21) Those same people get mad when you tell them you'll carve designs in their throats with your fingers if they don't keep their mouths closed.

22) Or how at every regional meeting they play those stale ass videos designed to give you vertigo

23) Here's a good one. How about when you try to set up an endowment for someone close to you and you are told that "Jones doesn't do that" then two months later, "Jim Bob's daughter died, we are setting up this fund and I think you should all contribute". Real names have been changed to protect the innocent.





Ok. that's 23 for tonight.



I'll start a new one and you can fill in your complaints:



1) The fact that people who love Jones are brainwashed tools who think that they work for the greatest company in the world, when in fact, it's a scam to take from people who can ill afford to lose their money.

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Feb 12, 2009 7:28 pm

How about at every regional meeting when they make the same former Merrill brokers stand up and talk about how bad things were on the "dark side." (Ironically, both of those guys are now on goals.) 

Feb 12, 2009 7:34 pm
Borker Boy:

How about at every regional meeting when they make the same former Merrill brokers stand up and talk about how bad things were on the "dark side." (Ironically, both of those guys are now on goals.)





Excellent - we didn't have any Merril guys, but we did have a couple of Northwestern mutual guys. But I like where you are going with this. Although maybe it's not as funny as the first day.

Feb 12, 2009 8:08 pm

Your RL transfered from some podunk town to take over a $100mil book. Then tells everyone all you have to do is make the contacts.

 
A new broker that does $23K gross in a month, get praised and asked what he is doing to which he replies "Just making the contacts, and knocking on doors" except when everyone finds out he had a $2mil walk in, liquidated all the holding and put her into 4 different fund families(diversified)
 
At the regional meeting when you realize that all the successful brokers either inherited an office of $30 million or xfered from somewhere else.
 
Your RL is too cheap to put on a christmas party, so he piggybacks off the a Van Kampen Event..
Feb 12, 2009 8:20 pm

That the RL tells the new FA's at regional meetings that there is no reason to DCA, just invest it all right away (this was late Aug 2008)!!!  True story

Feb 12, 2009 8:27 pm

is 23m in gross good???  i felt sick doing 35m last month. why would anyone work there?

Feb 12, 2009 8:32 pm
go_huskies:

is 23m in gross good??? i felt sick doing 35m last month. why would anyone work there?





you did 35 million last month?

Feb 12, 2009 8:44 pm

How about when the new FA leader describes the Div trips to the new FA's as if they have never been on a vacation before.  "It will be the greatest time of your life.  They have servers who will bring you drinks right by the pool, big hotel rooms with maid service every day".  Yeah, thanks, I think I will skip the door knocking and pay for my own trip!

Feb 12, 2009 8:57 pm
Moraen:
Borker Boy:

How about at every regional meeting when they make the same former Merrill brokers stand up and talk about how bad things were on the "dark side." (Ironically, both of those guys are now on goals.) 



Excellent - we didn't have any Merril guys, but we did have a couple of Northwestern mutual guys. But I like where you are going with this. Although maybe it's not as funny as the first day.

 
Oh, it's funny alright. You're cranking out some very impressive--and scarily true--stuff.
Feb 12, 2009 8:59 pm
Moraen:
go_huskies:

is 23m in gross good???  i felt sick doing 35m last month. why would anyone work there?



you did 35 million last month?

 
m singular, means the same as "K"... MM would be million...
Feb 12, 2009 9:01 pm

The taxes on those trips are just stupid.. and you have to hang out with Jones people...

Feb 12, 2009 9:01 pm

got it. seems like i should have known that, but it's been a "celebratory" night, so i wonder if either i didn't, or i'm too drunk to know i'm that dumb.

Feb 12, 2009 9:37 pm

I've got six:

 
1)Tuesday Promo
2)Thursday Promo
3)Saturday Promo
4)Shamrock Saturday
5)BBQ Promo
6)Christmas Promo
Feb 12, 2009 10:38 pm

Nice Lou



What about "Harvest Fest" and Trimester.... crap, what was that called.

Feb 12, 2009 10:40 pm

Triathalon

Feb 12, 2009 11:04 pm

Yes. That was it.



I'm embarrassed to say I participated in those - all except Shamrock Saturday. Just couldn't bring myself to do it.



Feb 13, 2009 11:39 am

long time visitor, finally decide to take the plunge. here is my submission:

 
while at a RL meeting in STL you mention to a home office GP that you would like to pursue the CFP and he shrugs it off with "do you really think that will help you grow your business?"
Feb 13, 2009 12:13 pm
Lou Mannheim:

I've got six:

 
1)Tuesday Promo
2)Thursday Promo
3)Saturday Promo
4)Shamrock Saturday
5)BBQ Promo
6)Christmas Promo
 
So why did you participate in them?  After my first 6 months, I never thought twice about them.  And they are only a newbie thing anyway.
Feb 13, 2009 12:49 pm

B24,


The promo's are not only for "newbies".  Our region pushed hard for everyone to participate in the Saturday promos because the region wins money based on participation, that can be used for things during the summer regional meetings.  It's true that participation was optional, but when your RL sends out "wires" that he will be in the office making phone calls on a Saturday morning, it is implied that you should also be in your office making calls.


Lapide

Feb 13, 2009 2:23 pm

I guess when I have never signed into one of those that it "implies" that I think they're stupid.  My RL sends them out too.  I could care less.