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May 7, 2007 12:34 pm

By decree, the Ahrr Ahrr Comedy club is now open for business, 24/7.


Coltrane is a registered representative who likes to read here, but does not like to express opinions ( in the sense of working moms expressing breast milk with breast pumps at work) because this rr has nothing intelligent or meaningful left to say.


Some very high leaders in the spiritual world believe that comedy is one of the greatest forms of human express. When a joke is not funny, it just dies and blends in with everything else.


Please give it your best shot.


This thread is intended for humour only!

May 7, 2007 12:42 pm

What do a tornado and marriage have in common?


In the beginning, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, then you lose your house!

May 7, 2007 1:35 pm

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.


Groucho Marx.

May 7, 2007 1:51 pm

The only difference between Catholics and Jews is that Jews are born with guilt and Catholics have to go learn it in school.


- Elayne Boosler

May 7, 2007 1:55 pm

Jesus, Moses and God were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the green and rolled to within a couple feet of the hole. Moses hit second, and his ball also soared and landed close to the hole. Both looked over at God.

God took a few practice swings, then let loose on his ball. The ball flew off into the rough. Just then, a squirrel jumped over, grabbed the ball in his mouth and started running across the fairway. An eagle swooped down and grabbed the squirrel in its claws, but before it could get too far, a bolt of lightning struck the bird. The ball fell and a sudden gust of wind dropped it directly into the hole.


Jesus glared at God and said: "Hey, are you here to play golf or just screw around?"

May 7, 2007 9:11 pm

What's 3 feet tall and has a thousand arms and legs?


Greensburg, Kansas.

May 8, 2007 1:16 am

Two employees are talking, one of them asks the other, " How long have you been working here ?"


The other one replies, " Since they threatened to fire me."

May 8, 2007 1:30 am

This must be jokes "by and for" reps.  Funny, they don't seem to be "rep" related.


So, I won't bother posting my jokes here, then.  Wouldn't want bullies to chase me away now, would I?

May 8, 2007 1:35 am

This thread is intended for humour only!


What does a lawyer use for birth control?


His personality.

May 8, 2007 1:37 am

I know a good lawyer joke ... but oh no!


I'm not a rep so I can't post it, can I?


Reps here want to take away FREEDOM for nonreps!  This ain't right.


Alert the media (ooops, I've already done that).

May 8, 2007 1:42 am

This thread is intended for humour only!


What's the definition of a gentleman?


Someone who can play the accordion and won't.



May 8, 2007 1:59 am

 yourself.


http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/6271/puns081.html




Bad Comedian

Did you hear the one about the comedian who only told sausage puns?

His friends said he was the wurst.


and thanks for allowing FREE speech. 


Now I get it. 


my post is intended for humour only: does that meet YOUR approval?


Why do they (cyber bullies) prevent non-reps from posting jokes (or anything!)


They don't want to be upstaged.


Care to open a brokerage account?  And boy! do I have a joke for you? 


What do you get when you hire a broker?


....broker.  (get it!

May 8, 2007 10:08 am

What were the first pornographic words spoken on prime-time nationwide television?


" Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?"

May 8, 2007 12:30 pm

What do you call an Italian who mixes cement with a fork?


A mortar-forker.

May 8, 2007 1:27 pm

How about a pirate eye chart?


     R


    RR


   RRR


  RRRR

May 8, 2007 2:44 pm

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel attatched to his unit.


The bartender says, " What the h*ll is that?"


The pirate says, " Arrrrrrrrrrr, it's a ship's wheel, and it's driving me nuts!"

May 8, 2007 3:27 pm

What do you call eighty white guys chasing one black guy?


The PGA tour.

May 8, 2007 3:59 pm
A young man, who worked at a driving range, picked up a couple of
dozen old balls one day and took them home with him, stuffing them
into his pants pockets.

On the bus on his way home, an elderly old lady sat down next to
him, so he had to scrunch them up to make room for her. He noticed
after a while the lady was glancing sideways toward his pockets. A
bit embarrassed, he said to the lady, "Its all right maam, they`re
just golf balls."

She nodded and smiled sympathetically and a few moments later said,
"Tell me - is that something like tennis elbow?"

May 8, 2007 4:01 pm
A young man, who worked at a driving range, picked up a couple of
dozen old balls one day and took them home with him, stuffing them
into his pants pockets.

On the bus on his way home, an elderly old lady sat down next to
him, so he had to scrunch them up to make room for her. He noticed
after a while the lady was glancing sideways toward his pockets. A
bit embarrassed, he said to the lady, "Its all right maam, they`re
just golf balls."

She nodded and smiled sympathetically and a few moments later said,
"Tell me - is that something like tennis elbow?"

 Better?




May 8, 2007 4:26 pm
FreedomAdvocate:

This must be jokes "by and for" reps.  Funny, they don't seem to be "rep" related.


So, I won't bother posting my jokes here, then.  Wouldn't want bullies to chase me away now, would I?



Please go away if you're not in the biz.