Word Up- MORON

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Jun 6, 2006 3:15 pm

Why is it everytime a Pro-Joneser gets upset, they fire off the "YOU MORON!" attack?

Lesson for the day:

MORON: A stupid person; (psychology) A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to 12 years and generally having communication and social skills enabling some degree of academic or vocational education. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

The irony here is someone using this term to defend a company that trains their employees to use a cake mix, a brick and a box of LIFE cereal to explain complex investment recommendations. FURTHER, still utilizing technology that requires the mounting of an out-dated, ridiculous looking Satellite dish on the roof of each office.

EVEN SO, this is America and you have a right to defend your religion- I mean, company so can I please offer you a few substitutes- the continued use of the word "MORON" is constipated and needs to be flushed. Try these:

addle-pate; ass; blockhead; bonehead; boob; cretin; dimwit; dingbat; dunderhead; fool; halfwit; idiot; ignormamus; imbecile; lamebrain; loony; loser; lunkhead; mental defective; muttonhead; nerd; numskull; retard; simp; numbnuts; cluck; nincompoop; nitwit; oaf; pinhead; schmuck; schnook; spaz; dork; jackass; meathead; clod; jerkoff; fathead; buffoon; screwball; AND finally, dipsh*t.

I left a few out, but these should get you started. NOW, in the future, when responding to a post you don't like, before you let your fingers do the talking- (AND since I know you can't use the internet to google this for yourself, lest Big Brother find out you aren't making your 25 REAL contacts a day)  Just pick out one of these words.

 Have a nice day.

Jun 6, 2006 3:33 pm


Jun 6, 2006 3:41 pm

Some other substitutes could be :

Kook-aid chugger, clone , drone, subway shop sniffer...umm wait wrong side...........sorry.

Jun 7, 2006 5:25 pm

A real MORON must of written this post!


Jun 7, 2006 6:04 pm

I love when people use “must of” instead of the gramtically correct “must have”

Jun 7, 2006 8:04 pm

Would love to hear the cake mix,brick and cereal pitch

Jun 7, 2006 10:49 pm

[quote=waterboy]Would love to hear the cake mix,brick and cereal pitch[/quote] Me too. Let’s all hear how the uninformed get sold the jones “stuff”.

Jun 8, 2006 7:52 am

What about blue potato chips to sell high quality stocks?!

Jun 8, 2006 9:10 am

trains their employees to use a cake mix, a brick and a box of LIFE cereal

blue potato chips to sell high quality stocks


Jun 8, 2006 11:56 am

I can’t help the image of 10,000 gump IR’s saying, “A mutual fund is like a box of choc-o-lates.” 

Jun 8, 2006 5:19 pm

[quote=Revealer][quote=waterboy]Would love to hear the cake mix,brick and cereal pitch[/quote] Me too. Let's all hear how the uninformed get sold the jones "stuff".[/quote]

Okay, I am not sure if this should be posted under the Prospecting and Marketing Forum or Just for Chuckles- (I hope I don't get sued by Jones for revealing company secrets)

Cake Mix- Mutual Fund "Mr & Mrs Fudd, Now if you want a cake, you could bake one from scratch-just like Grandma used to make. You could the eggs, milk and flour and mix it all up. If you do it RIGHT, you'll have a tasty cake-BUT if you measure wrong- you have to throw the whole mess OUT! Now, a Mutual Fund is like this cake mix here (pull one out from your drawer) A  PROFESSIONAL has gone through all the trouble to measure everything out so your cake turns out perfect every time!"

Life Cereal- Life Insurance  Keep a large box of LIFE Cereal on your desk when meeting with certain clients. When the client asks "Why do have that box of Cereal on your desk?" You say "That's a great question- I'm glad you reminded me! Have you had your Life Insurance reviewed lately?"

(This one made my stomach swirl a little)

Brick-Individual Stock  "Mr. Mertz, Thank you for coming in today to pay for the 100 Shares of Dollar General. Now, I can't promise you that this stock will always go UP, BUT I can guarantee that it WILL go down at one point, and when it does I want you take this brick home with you. When this stock goes down, you'll be so mad at me you'll want to throw it through my window there-but when you do make sure you attach another check to it for another hundred shares- because if you like it at this price, you'll LOVE it at a lower one!"

There they are folks. The best sales secrets revealed.

Now, using the brick analogy can be bad and good. In the case of Dollar General, the stock was a dog. The good news is, I built myself a real nice brick barbeque in the backyard with a smokehouse attached.

Jun 8, 2006 5:31 pm

What about the ruler analogy?

When clients meet with you the first time, ask them: "Mr. & Mrs. Flintstone I was wondering if you could help me with something on your way home today? I was wondering how far it was to your house from my office? Could you please tell me that?"

Fred & Wilma will invariably tell you yes of course. Then you hand them a plastic Edward Jones ruler. When they look puzzled at you, you tell them: "Use this ruler to measure from my office to your house please.......Oh what's wrong? Were you planning to tell me in miles? Oh, well that's good then - I want you to remember that when you read your statement every month. You see, checking the balance of your investments every month would be like using this ruler to measure the distance between your house and my office."


Jun 8, 2006 5:40 pm

Why do you guys have to pick on EdJones so much?  I am so glad I can't read these posts while I am at work (I don't have internet access). 

There is too much negativity here!  Mary Lou and I run a office with a positive atmosphere.