Sorry to hear about your marital status, especially when kids are involved.

Do your best to stay involved with them. I wonder sometimes how I’ve kept

my wife through all the ups and downs. At one point in 2001, I was bringing

home half the income. Any other woman would have dumped me there and

then. I consider myself among the lucky ones.



We’ve been broke, but never poor.

[quote=7GOD63]

On top of the family advice. Would you agree that husband & wife should work as a team. If the wife is professional then she could refer clients to husband. The husband/broker/PFA has a better chance of networking at events, gatherings and functions with the wife?

[/quote]

Absolutely.  I think that the advisors business should be looked at in some ways as a joint operation (if you can get along w/ your spouse in that manner).  A new guy/gal needs all the help he/she can get.  Also, involving the spouse gets them to buy into the career, which I have found to be a challenge not only for myself but other young married brokers.

[quote=joedabrkr][quote=dude]

To clarify,  if you are married, it's my belief that it's much much better to have a working spouse (preferably in a professional field) than a spouse who stays at home if you're going to pursue this business. 

I should note that I'm speaking from personal experience here.  My wife (soon to be ex wife) was/is a stay at home mother (we have 2 younger children).  The biggest issue I have faced with her concerning my job is a complete lack of appreciation of the challenge and required dedication to be successful.  I don't blame her though 'cause she's home alone with 2 young children all day without a break.  Knowing what I know now, I probably would have avoided this career (even though I love what I do) simply because it has caused my family a great deal of strife. 

[/quote]

Yes having a working spouse helps with short term income fluctuations and understanding of a demanding schedule. However, it gets much more complicated when kids are in the picture....

[/quote]

Amen brother.

Also, involving the spouse gets them to buy into the career, which I have found to be a challenge not only for myself but other young married brokers.

WOW THE KEY WORD is "YOUNG". Good article on CT with the lowest rate of getting hitched (highest marrige-phobic). Higher education results in more optomism of marrige. On top of this CT has the lowest divorse rate.

They were talking about states such as Hawaii, LA, Nevada, Arkansas and Mississippi as the highest chance to get married. These states also have the lowest income and highest divorse rates.

There is also a ton of studies pointing to a healthy family/marrige results in much higher income then the other.

Dude, were you young 20's for marrige?

[quote=7GOD63]

There is also a ton of studies pointing to a healthy

family/marrige results in much higher income then the other.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I don’t look forward to that future. One of the union guys says when the wife turns fifty trade her in for two 25’s.

Dude, were you young 20's for marrige?

I was 21 when I got married, 25 when I became a broker.  Had my first child @ 22 and my second the month I went into production.

[quote=skeedaddy] [quote=7GOD63]

There is also a ton of studies pointing to a healthy

family/marrige results in much higher income then the other.

Joe,



Did you identify with Brokeback Mountain?   

[quote=skeedaddy] [quote=7GOD63]

There is also a ton of studies pointing to a healthy
family/marrige results in much higher income then the other.

[/quote]

Its true that a bigger bank account smooths out many issues in a marriage.
But the stats you speak of have to do with the fact that divorce is very costly
(separation of assets) for an affluent marriage. Not to mention the
embarrassement at the yacht club, country club, and at the private school
the kids attend. So the husband keeps a girlfriend on Wednesdays and the
wife does the pool guy on Thursdays so each can put on a happy face on
social Fridays while they drink a 1/5 of scotch to numb the pain. [/quote]

You could always do like I do and make cookies along with the scotch.  (see the joke thread)  Can I do the pool guy?  I really don't want a girlfriend.

Seriously, this career is really tough on a marriage and especially with small children.  I count myself fortunate that my spouse is really understanding. He has his own business and knows how much work and prospecting it takes to be successful.  He is one of my best referral sources: his clients to me.   

I agree that you need to try to engage the spouse (stay at home or working spouse) in the business so they can see what you do instead of what they think you do.  I am guessing that the wife at home with small kids thinks that your day is a walk in the park.  You know a nice office, computers, no whining kids, no dirty diapers and lots of scintillating conversations and then you come home from your cushy job where you get to wear neat new clothes instead of crappy housewife clothes and then you demand a meal and some peace and quiet.  You get to golf and socialize and she is stuck with the diaper pail.  Am I close?     

This is why it is so important that your partner in life be aware of what you really do and how stressful your day is and able to understand why you can't just let it go at the office door. I don't know what the answer is for how you educate the spouse.

Here is a funny one for everybody!

What is the difference between a Large Pizza and a Seg. 1-2 EDJ IR??

Give Up??

The large Pizza can feed a family of 4.

Got that one from an old Jones Buddy!

you got that right!!

[quote=VotedforKerry]Dude?  What the f**k?  Here's a bit of advice and maybe not what you want to hear.  Family comes first.  I LIKE my job but I LOVE my family.  For some reason I was under the impression you had those two reversed.[/quote]

Congratulations VotedforKerry.  Actually, I wake up every morning and make sure my kids get their daily cigarette burns (before my daily wife beating) for being such pain in the a*ses.  This is usually before I let them out of the cellar and change out their drinking bowls.  Unfortunately I have to always dress them in long sleeves to cover up the marks on their wrists from the shackles (had to tighten them, the kids were slipping out) which draws attention on hot days (it gets to 105 degrees in summer). 

Anyway thanks for the tough love there Voted.

That’s a pretty entertaining joke.

[quote=BrokerRecruit]That's a pretty entertaining joke.[/quote]

Joke, what joke?

[quote=BrokerRecruit]That's a pretty entertaining joke.[/quote]

Oh........you mean VotedforKerry's post.

This message string is one of the best that a newbie/trainee/rookie can read to get a good sense of what to expect as an FA.  Is there any chance that the moderators/administrators of this board could keep it posted at the beginning of the "Rookies" forums? 

I have seen other forums do this as a "sticky note" at the head of the forums - that way there would be a lot less repeat/rehashed/regurgitated information out there. 

Any suggestions moderators? 

I know...the new guy causin' trouble.  That's what I do best.

Windknot

Geez, after reading this thread, I’m glad I’m only gonna be doing this for the summer. 

does the stress and all the anoyances differ from the independents to the wirehouses?
I’m assuming everyone who is hating on their job is in a wirehouse (ML SB MS)

and all independents love their jobs and couldnt be more happier.

[quote=brothaK]does the stress and all the anoyances differ from the independents to the wirehouses?
I’m assuming everyone who is hating on their job is in a wirehouse (ML SB MS)

and all independents love their jobs and couldnt be more happier.
[/quote]

I am happy as an independent.  There is still plenty of stress, and the workload is nothing to sniff at.  It is, perhaps, higher than being at a wire.

The difference, I suppose, is that I don’t have others imposing their priorities on me, except perhaps my clients.  No sales manager or branch manager pushing their goals or ‘favored vendors’ on me.  No endless useless meetings.  In the end, I decide how to deal with things and what issues to address first.  And…it’s MINE.

So much of the stress from being in a wirehouse came from a few sources-
1.) Having people who really knew NOTHING about my clients or what it was like to be on the front lines push their priorities, programs, and products at me.
2.)  The difficulty of getting approval to spend money when needed to address issues.
3.) Bureaucratic compliance people.
4.)  The feeling of being ‘trapped’, that it was difficult to get out and be in a better situation.
5.)  The constant threat that assistance would be withheld if certain goals weren’t met.

I don’t have to deal with any of that crap now.  So, even if I have to work a little harder sometimes it’s just fine by me.