Funny Bumperstickers

On a license plate frame of a new Mercedes 500 series sedan with an obviously very well taken care of lady in her mid-40s:

"If the shoe fits, buy it!"

I once heard… “If you are under 30 and a republican, then you don’t have a heart.  If you are over 30 and democrat, then you don’t have a brain.”

Truly heartless

Put an end to Poverty and Hunger, Eat the Homeless

Took a while for me to get this one

Visualize Whirled Peas

Rock is Dead...

Long live paper and scissors.

Nuke Jane Fonda and Feed Her To The Whales!

"Don't Confuse Me With Facts, I'm a Democrat"

"John Kerry, Man of the People"

"I Voted for Kerry, Before I Voted Against Him"

And the only one I'd ever put on my car;

"I'd rather be driving a Titleist"

Jesus saves, Moses Invests 

Forget World Peace...Envision Using Your Blinkers

I Didn't Claw My Way Up The Food Chain to Eat Vegetables

Keep Working: Millions On Welfare Are Depending On You

Your tailgating intimidation is wasted on my cruise control.

Make a Welfare as tough to get as a building permit

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!

Ask me about my vow of silence

If you write "WASH ME" on my truck, I'll carve "RECESSITATE ME" on your chest!!!

Rap Is To Music What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art

I Brake For No Apparent Reason

Jerry's dead, Phish sucks, get a job

If 10% is enough for God, why does the IRS need more?

"Earth First!  We'll log the other planets later!"

and

"Vegetarian:  Of Native American origina literally meaning 'poor hunter'."

these are hysterical!

I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that? 

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

and for all those in arbitration: The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.   

Several years ago I was in a weird biker/Vietnam Vet bar out in the middle of no where. 

The urinals had a picture of Jane Fondas face in them centered right in the middle of a bulls eye target.  Not a bumper sticker but I thought it was funny.

[quote=Malcolm]

Several years ago I was in a weird biker/Vietnam Vet bar out in the middle of no where. 

The urinals had a picture of Jane Fondas face in them centered right in the middle of a bulls eye target.  Not a bumper sticker but I thought it was funny.

[/quote]

I've seen those very same stickers in the head at a USMC Officer's Club. 

"Am I liberal, or just well educated?"

[quote=Cruiser]

"Am I liberal, or just well educated?"

[/quote]

Now THAT is funny 

“WAR is not PRO-LIFE”

[quote=Cruiser]"WAR is not PRO-LIFE"[/quote]

Very deep 

I'd love to trade caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

All men are idiots, and I married their king.
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

"My kid can beat up your honor student."

A Hummer blew by me the other day. Stuck on the back of the SUV was the outline of a fish (much like the ornament used by Christians on their cars). Except this one was bigger and had a dorsel fin (like a shark). And written within the outline of the fish was "LAWYER".