FA plus golf

Happy summer right back!



I went golfing w/ one of my better clients last week. He retired a couple of years back, and in an effort to stay out of the house, he’s started up a Monday, Wednesday, and Friday league.



I was the only person under 55 there, and when I walked nervously up to the table he came up behind me and said, "This is my Financial Consultant, and you all should talk to him."



This guy’s is a retired engineer, and very well respected amongst his friends. I made an appt with 4 of his friends & was invited to speak at an event by another!



Thanks be to GOLF!

I always tell my clients that if your broker is better at golf than you, he spends too much time on the links.  Be good at golf, but not TOO good.

Ashland, does work pay for golf or does golf subsidize work? Played 18 holes with a client today, at times it actually felt like " work ".  But it was only a fleeting sensation.

What a great screen name, Ferris. I love the scene where the teacher is lecturing the class, very - slowly ... anyone? Anyone? What an inspiration to play hookey.

Any other golfers around here ... I stongly suggest you book a couple of games a week for the summer, one on one with your golfing clients, and see how many referrals you get! ( Your clients need something to brag about, and the weather is terrific.)

I have played in about 3 or 4 charity tourneys over the last 2 years with different clients.  Typically a client will invite me to play, I pay, and we usually are teamed up with a couple of his friends.  So in a foresome I usually will have a client and at least one prospect that knows my client..sometimes 2 warm prospects.

This has done pretty well in the past and I have opened 2 accounts...one at 150k in assets and another at 130 in assets.

For those baseball fans....Not exactly a "home run"...but definately a "stand up double"

Still swinging...to hit a stationary ball.

Pinn

Ashland, does work pay for golf or does golf subsidize work? Played 18 holes with a client today, at times it actually felt like " work ".

I totally agree, Ashland. And anyone can do start doing group lessons ( & breakfast or lunch) with their clients, whether you golf or not. Wholesalers love to support these events. This naturally turns into fun rounds with clients and their friends, very cost effective business building stuff.

Did you hear the one about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit playing golf?

The Holy Spirit calmly tees off, the ball flies straight but lands short - it takes a nice fairway roll and takes off down to the green, slows down, circles toward the hole, teeters on the edge, and barely drops into the cup.

Jesus hotly fires a worm burner low and hard directly at the pond - the ball skips off the water, flies up to the green and rolls over to drop in the cup with nice settling sound.

God laughs, fires the ball way left into a tree but the ball bounces out onto the green. A squirrels runs out and mouths the ball and hops a little, just then an eagle drops out of the sky, swoops up with the squirrel who drops the ball right into the cup with a thunk.

Jesus angrily says to God, " Do you want to screw around or do you want to play golf?".

Weekend golf goal : 1 stroke off my club average on the tougher second club course.

Anyone want to make a friendly wager here on their own game in the spirit of helpful competition?

Loser has to provide a really good, as in take some time and research it, golf joke.

"Good God lady, you must've been standing right over the nest!"

"LOFT Lack Of Fargin Talent"

"Good thing I wasn't in the pussy willows!"

"Golf spelled backwards is Flog!"

"Nah, he thinks he's Jack Nichlaus!"

"Even God can't hit a 1 iron!"

"Well I was married to her for fourty years!"

"I couldn't afford a Caddy so I drove a Buick!"

"Hey, why can't these guys play at night!?"

There is no such thing as a "really good golf joke!"

[quote=Whomitmayconcer]

“Good God lady, you must’ve been standing right over the nest!”

“LOFT Lack Of Fargin Talent”

“Good thing I wasn’t in the pussy willows!”

“Golf spelled backwards is Flog!”

“Nah, he thinks he’s Jack Nichlaus!”

“Even God can’t hit a 1 iron!”

“Well I was married to her for fourty years!”

“I couldn’t afford a Caddy so I drove a Buick!”

"Hey, why can’t these guys play at night!?"

There is no such thing as a “really good golf joke!”

Ashland,

They're the punchlines to a bunch of Golf Jokes. These plus the groaner posted by Golfa go to show that golf jokes are not funny, Mostly because they are told by golfers who, if they had a sense of humor would recognize how deadly boring golf is in the first goddamned place!

[quote=Whomitmayconcer]

Ashland,

They're the punchlines to a bunch of Golf Jokes. These plus the groaner posted by Golfa go to show that golf jokes are not funny, Mostly because they are told by golfers who, if they had a sense of humor would recognize how deadly boring golf is in the first goddamned place!

[/quote]

Well go play some ping pong & try and solve some crossword puzzles.  I'm willing to bet you suck @ golf, and you probably don't have many talents in sports.  Most people like you tend to bash things they aren't good at to fill the void of insecurity that they have about the issue.

I happen to be a pretty good golfer.  If you hate golf so bad, then keep your lame ass off the course unless you want me bombing my drives into your 4th shots.

[quote=FreeLunch][quote=Whomitmayconcer]

Ashland,

They're the punchlines to a bunch of Golf Jokes. These plus the groaner posted by Golfa go to show that golf jokes are not funny, Mostly because they are told by golfers who, if they had a sense of humor would recognize how deadly boring golf is in the first goddamned place!

[/quote]

Well go play some ping pong & try and solve some crossword puzzles.  I'm willing to bet you suck @ golf, and you probably don't have many talents in sports.  Most people like you tend to bash things they aren't good at to fill the void of insecurity that they have about the issue.

"Most people like you tend to bash things they aren't good at to fill the void of insecurity that they have about the issue."

Kind of like you do with the crossword reference?

What is your insecurity? That you won't be just like the bazillion drones that lemming their way through life, living the suburban beer commercial rat race keep up with the Joneses lifestyle that is depicted on ESPN?

I'm actually pretty good at golf, especially for someone who doesn't play the game often. I don't play often because it's a pretty stupid game in which there are zero skill sets required in the game that can be applied to any other situation. You don't even get to claim "teamwork". Even basketball can claim cardio, running and strategy as usable talents not to mention eye hand coordination. Tennis gets those plus reaction time and trajectory calculation. Baseball is pretty useless except for the reaction and the ability to throw an object and hit something with it when you want to. But golf offers nothing like that. 

Golf is about the only "sport"  where the average players are often in worse physical shape after playing than before (most people use the time to huff cigars and slurp swing oil as they play) while hauling their fat arses around on a cart. There is only the pretense of exercise involved. Meanwhile one stands in a chemical soup of toxic fertilizers, herbicides and pesticides on the fairway.

And as evidenced by your predictable reaction to this post... the previous post is proved positive, golfers lack a fully developed sense of humor! And that's why there are no truely good golf jokes!

[quote=Whomitmayconcer]

“Most people like you tend to bash things they aren’t good at to fill the void of insecurity that they have about the issue.”

Kind of like you do with the crossword reference?

What is your insecurity? That you won't be just like the bazillion drones that lemming their way through life, living the suburban beer commercial rat race keep up with the Joneses lifestyle that is depicted on ESPN?

I'm actually pretty good at golf, especially for someone who doesn't play the game often. I don't play often because it's a pretty stupid game in which there are zero skill sets required in the game that can be applied to any other situation. You don't even get to claim "teamwork". Even basketball can claim cardio, running and strategy as usable talents not to mention eye hand coordination. Tennis gets those plus reaction time and trajectory calculation. Baseball is pretty useless except for the reaction and the ability to throw an object and hit something with it when you want to. But golf offers nothing like that. 

Golf is about the only "sport"  where the average players are often in worse physical shape after playing than before (most people use the time to huff cigars and slurp swing oil as they play) while hauling their fat arses around on a cart. There is only the pretense of exercise involved. Meanwhile one stands in a chemical soup of toxic fertilizers, herbicides and pesticides on the fairway.

And as evidenced by your predictable reaction to this post... the previous post is proved positive, golfers lack a fully developed sense of humor! And that's why there are no truely good golf jokes!

Actually there are some great golf jokes out there but we won't share them with you because you're not one of the bretheren.

A guy walks up to some slow golfers and hands them a card that says, "I am a deaf-mute. Can I play through?"
"Bug off," they tell him. "You can wait just the same as anybody else."
On the next hole, a ball flies at the group and hits one of the slow golfers hard. Doubled over in pain on the ground, the guy looks back at the tee and sees the deaf guy. He's got his driver in one hand, and the other hand is holding up four fingers.

I'm going to go with whomit, and agree that golf is deathly boring.

Hayve sum tea and krohmmpets with that whale yay protesteth weth hoomeit, then,  Allreit? Aye fail sorray for ye, then, mates.

[quote=GolFA]

A guy walks up to some slow golfers and hands them a card that says, "I am a deaf-mute. Can I play through?"
"Bug off," they tell him. "You can wait just the same as anybody else."
On the next hole, a ball flies at the group and hits one of the slow golfers hard. Doubled over in pain on the ground, the guy looks back at the tee and sees the deaf guy. He's got his driver in one hand, and the other hand is holding up four fingers.

I don't play often because it's a pretty stupid game in which there are zero skill sets required in the game that can be applied to any other situation.

Whomit, are you serious?

I was just about to post that I didn't get it...and I read the punch line one more time!

It took me a second, too ... I think the joke works because, you know, most guys are usually verbose, and chatty, h*ll, loquacious, and cerebral when they are concentrating on golf...

[quote=GolFA]

I don't play often because it's a pretty stupid game in which there are zero skill sets required in the game that can be applied to any other situation.

Whomit, are you serious?

[/quote]

Oh, I don't know.  I have a good time whacking the tops off of weeds in my yard with a 1 iron.   That's a practical application and a good use for a 1 iron.

That plus taking bets on whether we can hit the dented up range balls from our deck over the river into the cow pasture on the other side.

[quote=Dust Bunny]

  I have a good time whacking the tops off of weeds in my yard with a 1 iron.   That’s a practical application and a good use for a 1 iron.

A country club didn't allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week.

The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women's club, and became active. After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from the women's club complaining about the men urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter. After another 6 months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action. After due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges!

[quote=Whomitmayconcer]

Golf is about the only "sport"  where the average players are often in worse physical shape after playing than before

[quote=Maxstud] [quote=Whomitmayconcer]

Golf is about the only "sport"  where the average players are often in worse physical shape after playing than before

[/quote]

I'm a bowler.
[/quote]

It can be really difficult to handle success.

I live in the Rookies. Golf courses are empty here. Except for the tourists. Even though there are some scenic courses locals hike and mountain bike  and fly fish in the summer.

[quote=Greenbacks]

I live in the Rookies. Golf courses are empty here. Except for the tourists. Even though there are some scenic courses locals hike and mountain bike  and fly fish in the summer.

[/quote]

Interesting. I know there is an expensive club at Deer Valley, and it serves a lot of the multimillionaires who ski there in the winter.

There is nothing casual about golf. On the one hand, almost anyone can be drafted to spend a day playing in the company shotgun tournament, and on the other, to even get close to a single digit handicap requires total devotion.

I some ongoing attention to golf at this site could be a lasting contribution, because the way it relates to our business could benefit a lot of us, even those who don't have time to pursue golf.

The guys that say it is stupid or has no useful purpose outside of immediate entertainment sound like someone who showed up for a bike race or a mountain climb with no preparation or experience, and were disappointed that they were left at the starting line, sour grapes.

In the case of those courses in the Rockies, I believe you have a playground for people who can afford to zip in with their skill set and enjoy a really stimulating and entertaining variation on their main hobby - if you are busy working in a ski resort or skiing all winter, and "distracted" by fly fishing and rock climbing and backpacking, I think it would be hard to ever get to the point where you could really enjoy golf.

There are several men in the locker room of a private club after finishing 18 holes. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:

"Hello?" "Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500"
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 at a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great!, before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year ... it's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, tennis court, acre of park area, beach front property..."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $1,450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
"Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $1,400,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye... I do too..."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present:
"Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"