Duh, Like, That's Totally Terrorist Mail

To do list: Get prom dress, pool party at Kristen's send terrorist mail to Goldman Sachs? The FBI is investigating terrorist threats against Goldman Sachs, sent to the media in two separate letters which may or may not have been penned by teenagers. The first letter, sent to over 20 media outlets in June, was written in red ink on loose-leaf paper. Signed AQUSA (al-Qaeda, USA), the message served

To do list: Get prom dress, pool party at Kristen's … send terrorist mail to Goldman Sachs? The FBI is investigating terrorist threats against Goldman Sachs, sent to the media in two separate letters — which may or may not have been penned by teenagers. The first letter, sent to over 20 media outlets in June, was written in red ink on loose-leaf paper. Signed AQUSA (al-Qaeda, USA), the message served as a warning to the bank: “Hundreds will die. We are inside. You cannot stop us.” According to the FBI, an analysis of the handwriting in the second letter, signed “three frightened kids and six frightened parents,” suggests that it may have been written by the same person. The second letter, which was sent to Newsday and New York Daily News, alleges the original threat was a hoax masterminded by three teenagers who were reacting to their parent's unspecified problems with Goldman. Um, they're so totally grounded.

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