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Jan 7, 2006 1:12 am

Dear Rookies,

I know your story: You're a rookie broker and December was a lousy month for you. You're behind the eight-ball and the boss is slamming you everyday to make production or else. This job stress is ruining your love life and to top it all off, your hair is thinning.

Well, turn that frown upside down, because you're in luck! I'm a broker by day and herbal supplement salesman by night. And I've got a pill that will transform your love life from lackluster to blockbuster! Oh, and did I mention that you can kiss that baldspot away, after just 6 months of use?

Not convinced? I am prepared to send you a written, compensated testimonial from D. Trump who has been a regular user of our product for years. (Yes, that D. Trump!) Not even Ivana or Marla could keep up with his enthusiastic affections!

So, don't wait! Valentines Day is right around the corner. Order now! Operators are standing by!

Possible side affects include: incontinence, nasal drip, skin rash, and short-term memory loss.

(Since everyone else is hawking foreclosed homes, marketing systems, etc. on these boards, I thought I might push my product, as well.)