Lessons Learned

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Jul 17, 2006 11:22 am

 What I have learned from the people who post on this forum.

1.  Earning per share always go up, driven by inflation which can never go away.

2.  Stock prices are determined by the company's earnings, and since earnings always go up stock prices always go up.

3.  That regardless of your investment objective, age, risk tolerance or other factor the appropriate investment is whatever has the highest percentage sales charge at the time--probably an annuity of some size or shape.

4. That the risk reward ratio has been repealed by insurance companies.

5.  That the purpose of investing is to get back what you put on deposit, with no loss in principal and no gain in principal either.

6.  That taking a client's money and "managing" it by buying CDs for safety of principal and call options for growth is a great idea if you're paying 10% in fees and commissions --but a horrible idea if you try to do it yourself because you won't be paying 10% in fees and commissions.

7.  That your success is not related to how hard you work or your intelligence.  Instead, it's related to your personality and how cool you look if you appear to be a golf pro.

8.  That clients appreciate a luau on a parking lot far more than a capital gain.  In order to keep their account all you need to do is give them a synthetic lei, or lai, or even a lay.

9.  That Larry Hagman and Patrick Duffy are discussing Peak Oil in an endless series of posts.

Jul 17, 2006 1:18 pm

10. Using scare tactics to motivate a prospective client to transfer their account to you.

Jul 17, 2006 2:26 pm

I'm learing to proofread my posts to avoid having a thread veer off topic. 

Jul 17, 2006 4:38 pm

Lessons I've learned from NASD.


1.  Argue until someone proves you completely wrong, then just fling insults as a distraction.


2.  If that doesn't work, just continously ignore the responses (after all, they actually have JOBS, they can't stay on forever)


3.  Spelling and grammer are important, just as long as NASD doesn't have to comply.


4.  The sky is falling, and everyone should be in cash and CD's for the next gobzillion years.


5.  Being old sucks.


Pretty much sums it up.


Jul 17, 2006 5:19 pm

BankFC...you forgot # 's 6 & 7


6. NASD = Always right, except when wrong, but then still right.


7. NASD, while having never worked for Edward Jones is certain he's absolutely, positively right about them too.

Jul 18, 2006 8:22 am

9.  That Larry Hagman and Patrick Duffy are discussing Peak Oil in an endless series of posts.


"ohh, ohh (hand raised and best Horseshack voice working) can i be JR, can i ? can i ? can i ?"


a real question: NASD, tell us about the days that big time exec's (like JR) had bars in their offices and, when the stress got overbearing, (in JR's case, like every 15 min) they'd simply pour a shot of bourbon (starting around noon) and knock that thing back...


the end of "civilization while under the control of men" ended when that quit being socially acceptable behavior...


Jul 18, 2006 9:36 am

Though everyone is always ragging on NASD Newbie, his post is fairly accurate.  Perhaps some of these folks have never heard of the Efficient Market Hypothesis. 


The only way to consistently beat the market without cheating is arbitrage and option spreads.  Other than that, the best thing you can do is hedge against downside potential.

Jul 18, 2006 9:50 am
entrylevelFA:

Though everyone is always ragging on NASD Newbie, his post is fairly accurate.  Perhaps some of these folks have never heard of the Efficient Market Hypothesis. 


The only way to consistently beat the market without cheating is arbitrage and option spreads.  Other than that, the best thing you can do is hedge against downside potential.



So you say!  Read a book or two and now you're and expert on the market?

The key word in your post is "Hypothesis".

Jul 18, 2006 10:08 am

last, but not least....


10. sex with men is better than sex with women.

Jul 18, 2006 10:19 am

11. In some places “$100k household clients” are too small to be profitable, in other places those same people qualify as "affluent customers”.

Jul 18, 2006 10:20 am
cranky sob:

last, but not least....


10. sex with men is better than sex with women.



Do you refer to your left hand as Ralph and your left hand as Alice?

Jul 18, 2006 10:42 am

Do you refer to your left hand as Ralph and your left hand as Alice?


I'm so liberal I can't realize that there is a right hand.  Let's make Alice left because most women are nice and soft and whiny like a liberal, and let's make Ralph the right hand because nothing send the message of manhood, virility and clear thinking like a guy named Ralph.

Jul 18, 2006 10:50 am
joedabrkr:
entrylevelFA:

Though everyone is always ragging on NASD Newbie, his post is fairly accurate.  Perhaps some of these folks have never heard of the Efficient Market Hypothesis. 


The only way to consistently beat the market without cheating is arbitrage and option spreads.  Other than that, the best thing you can do is hedge against downside potential.




So you say!  Read a book or two and now you're and expert on the market?

The key word in your post is "Hypothesis".
 


Actually, I have a degree in Finance, my opinion come largely from Advances in Behavioral Finance parts I and II.  I'm not talking about the "Little book that beats the market" or "12 ways to beat the market" or "I'm Jim Cramer, I rule, and I beat the market" or any such non sense. 


The random walk theory is proven...do you have a superhuman ability to pick the stocks?  If so, please let the rest of the world know.

Jul 18, 2006 11:01 am
TexasRep:

9.  That Larry Hagman and Patrick Duffy are discussing Peak Oil in an endless series of posts.


"ohh, ohh (hand raised and best Horseshack voice working) can i be JR, can i ? can i ? can i ?"



Guh head, guh head.


Jul 18, 2006 11:03 am
cranky sob:

last, but not least....


10. sex with men is better than sex with women.



I must agree with this statement.

Jul 18, 2006 11:20 am
babbling looney:
cranky sob:

last, but not least....


10. sex with men is better than sex with women.



I must agree with this statement.



Finally, something I strongly disagree with you about.....

Jul 18, 2006 11:21 am
entrylevelFA:

Actually, I have a degree in Finance, my opinion come largely from Advances in Behavioral Finance parts I and II.



Damn, that and $4 can get you a Moca Latte Grande anywhere in New York.

Jul 18, 2006 11:48 am
mikebutler222:

11. In some places “$100k household clients” are too small to be profitable, in other places those same people qualify as "affluent customers”.



Jul 18, 2006 3:36 pm

 Regarding #7 That your success is not related to how hard you work or your intelligence.  Instead, it's related to your personality and how cool you look if you appear to be a golf pro.


The honest truth is it's a mixture of both. No one is going to want you managing their portfolio if they don't trust you. trust isn't earned by how many facts you can pull out of your underwear or by telling your potential candidates that you've spent four sleepless nights working to find a stock of a company that goes against their morals, beliefs or values.


It pains me to see you be sarcastic about this point. If, for one second, you believe there aren't stupid people making money in this business, you need to seriously rethink your philosophy.


You told a story about bonds not to long ago where you sat a guy at a table and explained to him why his mother lost a lot of money. I guarantee you that, if the story was true to begin with, when you did that, you not only showed intelligence, but a creative approach to explaining it to him in terms he would understand. That takes character or GASP....personality!


You cannot tell me you've earned clients hard earned money by being intelligent and worked late nights only to have a crap attitude when you made your presentation to them.


Nobody cares about your stupid "these kids nowadays are dumb" sentiment. I promise you repeating this day in day out will not bring your glory days back.It's rubbish, your approach is rubbish, and it isn't solely about hardwork and "intelligence". You have to know your clients, talk to them, make them laugh, be their friends...you can't do that being how you present yourself on this forum.