Dating & Relationships

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Feb 17, 2007 1:32 am

Hey Guys:

A young ambitious hotblooded male here... I'll be breaking into the industry next year with a top-notch wirehouse firm. I am confident (at least for now) with the business and marketing aspect of this career. One doubt, if any, is of the personal nature. Being naturally ambitious and insatiably hungry, I want fulfillment in everything. One thing that I know I would want at least in some form is a relationship. For me, I need the emotional solace in having someone there to share my burdens, make me forgot my pains and cherish me for who I am. One of the reasons why I didn't get into investment banking is that I know in my heart of hearts that I wasn't willing to sell my soul to work 100+ hour weeks. While this industry is intensely free for those who have made it, I know I'll probably be pitching 70+ hour weeks for the first five years of my career.

My question is: is getting and maintaining a girlfriend realistic for a young broker? Can I try to swing for two birds with one stone and hit on hot clients or try to convert dates into clients so that I maximize my efforts? What are your tips and advice with such an issue?

Thanks much.

-Achiever

Feb 17, 2007 1:42 am
Achiever:

Can I try to swing for two birds with one stone and hit on hot clients or try to convert dates into clients so that I maximize my efforts? What are your tips and advice with such an issue?





Obvious troll

Feb 17, 2007 1:58 am
AllREIT:
Achiever:

Can I try to swing for two birds with one stone and hit on hot clients or try to convert dates into clients so that I maximize my efforts? What are your tips and advice with such an issue?





Obvious troll


Perhaps this was a testament of my naivety but I was fairly serious in my request for a response. Keep in mind that I am a 21 year old college student. Although I have a working knowledge of this industry, I have still not grasped all the intricacies that come with this career. Honestly, is such a scenario realistic and can it result in a fruitful relationship?

Feb 17, 2007 3:55 am
Achiever:
AllREIT:
Achiever:

Can I try to swing for two birds with one stone and hit on hot clients or try to convert dates into clients so that I maximize my efforts? What are your tips and advice with such an issue?





Obvious troll


Perhaps this was a testament of my naivety but I was fairly serious in my request for a response. Keep in mind that I am a 21 year old college student. Although I have a working knowledge of this industry, I have still not grasped all the intricacies that come with this career. Honestly, is such a scenario realistic and can it result in a fruitful relationship?



The women that 21 year old men date don't have enough money to become clients.  Unless you plan on dating your mother's divorced girlfriends, you can forget about mixing business with dating pleasure.

Feb 17, 2007 10:15 am

Hitting on clients might be a conflict of interest.  Do you really want answers - noticed you didn't respond to the topic with other advice for you re: relocating.  If using this site as sounding board helps, then do it.  Is it against the rules to date clients?  If not, and if you have a "connection" why not?  but hitting on a client because she has money may not work longterm if you aren't well suited for each other.


Advice from an old married man: take your time and date awhile.  Have fun: practice safe sex and ensure birth control.  Don't break too many hearts in the process. 


Concentrating on getting your career "established" might be the first order of business then a relationship next.

Feb 17, 2007 12:08 pm

Ask Dr. Blarmston...he da man in that area...

Feb 17, 2007 9:55 pm

Man.... If you find someone good they will only support and improve you. At the same time you should do the same for them. Enjoy the day.... You are young and once you tie the knot it is supposed to be forever...

Feb 17, 2007 9:59 pm

I thought this forum was about business not the dating game. 

Feb 17, 2007 10:13 pm

I though Put Nasty BEF ETC was already married to that dog.

Feb 17, 2007 11:30 pm

Can;t comprehend the acrononyms here - what is Put Nasty BEF? - sounds nasty.


I do know what etc means.


Hey, Dude, get all the dating advice you can over the weekend because I've figured out the webmaster will delete off topics on Monday morning.  Since there are so many of you who dislike Suze Orman - must have figured it was an off topic. 


With all the long hours that new fa's put in, you might not have much time to date, dude.

Feb 18, 2007 4:05 am
ManagedMoney:



The women that 21 year old men date don't
have enough money to become clients.  Unless you plan on dating
your mother's divorced girlfriends, you can forget about mixing
business with dating pleasure.





And no one has mentioned the entire ethical can of worms you would open
up by this? If you start dating clients you will be fired and have a
dirty U-form.

Feb 18, 2007 9:57 am

Even though being an FA isn't just a job, it's a lifestyle.  While you're out prospecting for clients, you might run into some people you'd like to date.  FAs are connectors - they come in contact with a lot of people.  I would say that you'd have to make the decision to choose for them to be a client or a significant other, not both.

You'd be likely to have relationship problems - everybody does.  If things go sour, you're out a client.  Plus if she's in the same network as other clients of yours, there might be some fall out depending on how sour they got.

Don't mix it.

Feb 18, 2007 11:12 am
AllREIT:
ManagedMoney:



The women that 21 year old men date don't have enough money to become clients.  Unless you plan on dating your mother's divorced girlfriends, you can forget about mixing business with dating pleasure.



And no one has mentioned the entire ethical can of worms you would open up by this? If you start dating clients you will be fired and have a dirty U-form.


You're an idiot. What do you think he is, a psychiatrist?

Feb 18, 2007 12:11 pm

I was always happy to hook up with clients.  There was nothing like having a naked chick in my office and getting paid.


My wife was a client.

Feb 18, 2007 1:31 pm
anonymous:

I was always happy to hook up with clients.  There was nothing like having a naked chick in my office and getting paid.


My wife was a client.



Yeah, my husband was a client and we dated for a long time before we married.   Both branch manager and regional manager knew -- not a bit of trouble. 


But, there is the risk that things blow up on the dating scene and you lose a good client. 

Feb 18, 2007 3:05 pm

Hey gang:

Thanks for the wonderful assortment of comments and suggestions. All are words of wisdom I'll hold dear to my heart. Naturally, I'll try to follow what's true according to my heart of hearts, but I was merely looking for opinions and experiences on the subject.

4luvofmoney:

Hitting on clients might be a conflict of interest.  Do you really want answers - noticed you didn't respond to the topic with other advice for you re: relocating.  If using this site as sounding board helps, then do it.  Is it against the rules to date clients?  If not, and if you have a "connection" why not?  but hitting on a client because she has money may not work longterm if you aren't well suited for each other.


Advice from an old married man: take your time and date awhile.  Have fun: practice safe sex and ensure birth control.  Don't break too many hearts in the process. 


Concentrating on getting your career "established" might be the first order of business then a relationship next.


Thanks, 4luvofmoney. I heeded your advice and replied in my other threads! I also appreciate your advice and I do want to look for the perfect mate. I suppose a great motivation for creating this thread was the fact that my knowledge of this industry tells me that I'll have to sweat, bleed and toil hard for the first couple of years. When I'll have to hustle 80+ hours a week for the first five years of my life, what opportunities will I have to be able to go out and find someone? Obviously I won't explicitly look for clients to hit on or purposely try to date my prospects. But I suppose I wanted to gather opinions and stories on successful relationships that have been borne out of a cold-call or a networking opportunity. After all, brokers are known for their charm and confidence. Many FA I know can sell snow to an Eskimo. I simply thought that it'd only be natural for brokers to be able to sell themselves and get a little action while interacting with dozens of people daily.

-Achiever

Feb 18, 2007 4:26 pm

I need the emotional solace in having someone there to share my burdens, make me forgot my pains and cherish me for who I am.


Your last post contradicts this statement made in your first post (getting a little action).


"Getting a little action" is what I've seen married Guardsmen and Reserve people, for that matter, other active duty people do on long deployments.


Your comrades are telling you that you'd risk a smear to your record so it must be against the rules.  Of course, you could have the "kiss and not tell" policy but can you really trust someone once it's over.  Some you can trust; some you can't.


It's really difficult to meet a soul mate whether you work a shorter work week or longer work week.  Seems most clients would be married, too.  However, if you find yourself attracted to a single client: here's the thing to do:  how about referring her to a partner and telling her since you want to date, you can't have her as your client.  So, decide if you'd rather have her as your babe or as a client - "getting a little action" would mean it's not a meaningful relationship and you risk hurting your reputation.


Better:  just work less hours: make some time for YOURSELF -- go out to have the opportunity to meet people.  All work and no play makes for an unhappy, dull person. 


You should be able to have the time to go to church and maybe can meet someone to have a "meaningful" relationship there.  Get involved with Singles Groups.  Getting a "little action" makes for very "empty" relationships and won't make you happy longterm.


If all else fails, there's eharmony.com. 


I look for this topic to be deleted Monday morning.


 

Feb 19, 2007 4:30 pm
AllREIT:
Achiever:

Can I try to swing for two birds with one stone and hit on hot clients or try to convert dates into clients so that I maximize my efforts? What are your tips and advice with such an issue?





Obvious troll



I think 4luvofmoney started this thread so he could have a conversation with himself....

Feb 19, 2007 9:43 pm

You're kidding.  I'm flattered...this little snotnose 21 year old, Achiever is a much better writer than me.


Hey, what happens on "deployments" stays on deployments...so, maybe what happens with a client should stay in the "portfolio". 

Feb 19, 2007 9:45 pm
4luvofmoney:

I need the emotional solace in having someone there to share my burdens, make me forgot my pains and cherish me for who I am.


Your last post contradicts this statement made in your first post (getting a little action).


"Getting a little action" is what I've seen married Guardsmen and Reserve people, for that matter, other active duty people do on long deployments.


Your comrades are telling you that you'd risk a smear to your record so it must be against the rules.  Of course, you could have the "kiss and not tell" policy but can you really trust someone once it's over.  Some you can trust; some you can't.


It's really difficult to meet a soul mate whether you work a shorter work week or longer work week.  Seems most clients would be married, too.  However, if you find yourself attracted to a single client: here's the thing to do:  how about referring her to a partner and telling her since you want to date, you can't have her as your client.  So, decide if you'd rather have her as your babe or as a client - "getting a little action" would mean it's not a meaningful relationship and you risk hurting your reputation.


Better:  just work less hours: make some time for YOURSELF -- go out to have the opportunity to meet people.  All work and no play makes for an unhappy, dull person. 


You should be able to have the time to go to church and maybe can meet someone to have a "meaningful" relationship there.  Get involved with Singles Groups.  Getting a "little action" makes for very "empty" relationships and won't make you happy longterm.


If all else fails, there's eharmony.com. 


I look for this topic to be deleted Monday morning.


 



 Would like to see how ACHIEVER talks his way out of this one, though.