A few years of no life

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Apr 18, 2009 4:45 pm

Did anyone else new with EDJ find themselves pulling 12 hour days,6 days per week, week after week for a few years? I can get away with putting in 70+ hour work weeks because I'm single. If I were a married man I'm sure I'd be on the fast track to divorce due to neglecting my spouse. lol

Apr 18, 2009 6:59 pm

That is typical across this industry, unless you inherit it all.

Apr 20, 2009 9:27 am

Yes, but the hours start to tail off a bit after you have a large database of prospects established.  One thing I have found (being married with kids), was that I learned to manage my hours better than I could in the "corproate" world.  For example, most days I would spend prospecting, calling, appts, etc.  I would see my kids for a few hours in the evening, then after they went to bed, do all my admin work at night.  Now, I may end up working 8am-6pm, then work again from 8pm-11pm.  This was hard, but much easier than the result of not seeing the family at all.  Yes, not having family makes the job easier in the beginning, but life happens.  You do have to learn to balance the two.  It may take a bit longer, but blowing your family life isn't worth any job.  However, with a supportive spouse, you should be able to manage long hours during limited stretches.  Even after 3 years or so, I am still out of the house 2 to 3 nights per week.  But I try to make up for it by coming home for lunch a few days a week, and giving my family undivided attention when I'm home.

Apr 20, 2009 9:29 am

My wife and kids are involved in so much stuff anyways it doesn't really make a difference..

Apr 21, 2009 8:54 am

It is typical for the first five years or more. For me it was seven years.

 
But to those with families, balance is essential.
 
Some long time members know my story so i won't recount it here, but in my case it took almost losing a child for me to reset my priorities.
 
Your family comes first, first ,and first. PERIOD!!!!!!
 
Yes, what you are doing you are doing to give them a better life but when it comes to relationships, you can't sacrifice today for the promise of a better tomorrow. By the time the better tomorrow gets here today is gone forever.
 
 And for those of you with young children- your kids are only young once. Immerce yourselves in that.
Apr 21, 2009 5:37 pm

BG,  

Very well put!  How many divorces have we seen in this business?   
Apr 21, 2009 6:40 pm

Having a young child, a pregnant wife without a pot to pee in, was the quintessential motivator.

 
I simply have no other choice but to make this work.
 
And it is...thank GOD!!
 
Find a rich guy, make him money in a way that he cant get at the corner five and dime and they will come. 
Apr 21, 2009 9:42 pm

I do agree with Gaddock, that having what others would consider "insane motivators" can really cause you to ramp up your business because without it you don't have a choice.

 
I have a friend who is at UBS doing just north of $700K.. he said the best thing he did was buy a brand new 3 series bmw when he first started at Jones. The meager salary he got wasn't enough to cover all his expenses so he was "forced" to produce.
Apr 22, 2009 7:29 am

What's the point of having no life?  What happens when one builds a business, any business, something must give because long hours are a must.  There was no way in hell that I was going to give up things like taking off of work when we had babies and teaching my kids to ride bikes and spending time with my wife. 

 
What I did give up was hanging out with my friends and going to ball games and playing sports.  I gave up my charitable endeavors in which I was extremely involved.
 
Slowly, but surely, I'm starting to spend more time with friends and getting re-involved civically, etc. 
 
We all have to make sacrifices in life.  Just don't let the family be something that gets sacrificed!
Apr 22, 2009 11:08 am

ice - my skills lie more in the Gran Turismo arena.  Where does that put me?

Apr 22, 2009 5:43 pm
anonymous:

What's the point of having no life?  What happens when one builds a business, any business, something must give because long hours are a must.  There was no way in hell that I was going to give up things like taking off of work when we had babies and teaching my kids to ride bikes and spending time with my wife. 

 
What I did give up was hanging out with my friends and going to ball games and playing sports.  I gave up my charitable endeavors in which I was extremely involved.
 
Slowly, but surely, I'm starting to spend more time with friends and getting re-involved civically, etc. 
 
We all have to make sacrifices in life.  Just don't let the family be something that gets sacrificed!
 
Right on. I gave up international career to be a local advisor and family guy. No regrets.
Apr 22, 2009 8:50 pm

You know what?? I freaking love trading and taking money from fools!! I never stop fixating on how to fleece the ignorant.


No life??????????


I LOVE MY CAREER WITH A PASSION!!!!



I have the greatest most creative and challenging gig that ever existed.
Apr 24, 2009 7:50 am

Even in my prospecting days, I refused to work past 5pm.  I have kids at home, and they won't be this young again.  Yes, it's been much slower (and probably less lucrative) than most, but I don't care.  If it doesn't work, I'll go find a 9 to 5 job elsewhere.  This is only a job, folks.  No one ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I put in more hours at the office."

Apr 24, 2009 3:58 pm
SayNo2KoolAid:

Even in my prospecting days, I refused to work past 5pm.  I have kids at home, and they won't be this young again.  Yes, it's been much slower (and probably less lucrative) than most, but I don't care.  If it doesn't work, I'll go find a 9 to 5 job elsewhere.  This is only a job, folks.  No one ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I put in more hours at the office."

 
I don't think that it's just a job.  If you are going to treat it as just a job, there are much easier ways to make a living.  I think that to be truly successful in this field, it has to be treated as a business and not a job.   
Apr 24, 2009 4:39 pm
anonymous:
SayNo2KoolAid:

Even in my prospecting days, I refused to work past 5pm.  I have kids at home, and they won't be this young again.  Yes, it's been much slower (and probably less lucrative) than most, but I don't care.  If it doesn't work, I'll go find a 9 to 5 job elsewhere.  This is only a job, folks.  No one ever said on their deathbed, "I wish I put in more hours at the office."

 
I don't think that it's just a job.  If you are going to treat it as just a job, there are much easier ways to make a living.  I think that to be truly successful in this field, it has to be treated as a business and not a job.   
 
The cool thing is, it's a profession. Highly trained, experienced, highly skilled. Nobody can f*** with you (unless you slip).
Apr 24, 2009 7:26 pm

Good to hear what anonymous said. Nice to hear my decision reinforced by someone I respect. Me, I gave up golf, movies, watching television, hanging out with my friends. I work and spend time with family.
I have a rule, too, that if your family needs you, you have to be there.  Your wife will accept the 12-hour days if she knows you will take a couple of hours and show up for the kindergarten play.






Apr 24, 2009 8:39 pm

Define what life means and how you use the time you have. 12 hours a day isn't too much if you make the hours you aren't working matter.

Apr 25, 2009 6:07 am

 "Your wife will accept the 12-hour days if she knows you will take a couple of hours and show up for the kindergarten play."


Before I joined the workforce, I can remember describing my ideal job.  I was looking for four things:


1) If my kid had a little league game Tuesday at 2:00, I wanted to be able to be there. (this was well before I had kids or a wife)
2)I wanted the opportunity to earn lots of money.
3)I wanted my job in which I would be getting paid to make a positive difference.
4)I wanted freedom.  For the most part, I needed to be the one calling the shots.
 

 
Apr 25, 2009 9:15 am

We can play semantic games with job/career/profession all we want.  12 hour days?  Unless I am only going to sleep 3 hours a night, that's not enough time for my family AND FRIENDS (I'm not giving them up, either).  If I worked 12 hour days, I'd see my kids for about an hour before they went to bed.  No thanks.


And personally, I do think this is a pretty easy way to make a living.  It's all in the way you approach it.  I DO make a difference, make more money than I need, and have more freedom than I ever thought I would have.


Apr 25, 2009 10:48 am

And there are guys who go the "no life route" and never take the foot off the gas because they don't know how. They become addicted to the job/money and become irrelevant members of their own family. I have no interest in that.