"It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late, and lawyers have also; but I repeat myself." - Mark Twain   Isn't it a shame how 99% of the lawyers give the whole profession a bad name.   If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?    Having just moved to a new home, a young boy meets the boy next door. "Hi, my name is Billy," he says, "what's yours?"
        "Tommy," replied the other.
        "My daddy's an accountant," says Billy. "What does your daddy do?"
        "He's a lawyer," Tommy answers.
        "Honest?" says Billy.
        "No, just the regular kind."   http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Lawyer.htm



 
 

My wife and I are in a disagreement over having our son circumcised.  She’s against it, and being circumcised myself, I am naturally for it - claiming that the son will feel strange not being like the father.  So I got to test the idea.  The last weekend I took my 8 year old nephew swimming at a public pool.  Being uncircumcised himself, he was naturally curious in the lockeroom.

  "Uncle, why is your weiner different from mine?" He asked.   I replied, "That's simple Billy, your penis isn't erect."

iceco1d:

Man I’m glad they found that kid in the hot air balloon…for a second there, I thought Michael Jackson ordered take out from heaven!

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Wife said, “Give me twelve inches and make it hurt!” 

So I fcked her 6 times and punched her in the face.

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Wife said, “Make love to me like they do in the movies.”

So I fcked her in the ass and came on her face.

She got pretty mad.

Apparently we watch different kinds of movies.

  AWESOME...