Deal or no deal

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Dec 23, 2009 11:14 am

I had opportunity to visit our town's very efficient municipal court this past Monday evening after having recieved by mail an official invitation. At issue was a performance award I had recieved while traversing the fair land inside the township's bountries. I am pleased to report that unlike Steven King's "The Dome" my town isn't run by a crazed second selectman. BTW, for those non motorcyclist out there, a performance award is a speeding ticket.

 
I arrived in court and checked in. A few minutes later a man with beady eyes and wearing an ill fitting suit announced that he was the prosecutor and that he would be taking us into a side room to "Discuss" our various and summary offenses. I was in the first group. And i was first up. "Mr. Bondguy you are charged with speeding. On Oct 16th at 10:24 pm you were clocked and ticketed for doing 75 mph in a 45 zone." The other four victims in the room groan. Beady eyes continues - "and not only were you doing 30 miles per hour over the legal limit you did it in a construction zone!" Another groan from the spectators. Beady's not done - "These are serious charges normally i take the license of offenders who are charged with these charges." I bit my tongue not to correct him that it was charge, not charges, singular, not plural.  The sleeves of his suit were climbing up his arm revealing the frayed cuffs of his JC Penny's shirt. "If you are found guilty not only will I take your license you will be fined $400 dollars. However, because you committed this infraction in a construction zone the fine is doubled to $800. Additionally your license will be charged with five points and you will be subjected to a state imposed surcharge."  His voice lightened and i said to myself here it comes, the offer. "I am prepared to offer you 59 in a 45, that's two points, a $206 fine doubled by the construction zone to $412, no surcharges and no loss of driving privieldges." Pointing to my manilla folder, the entirety of my defense, I asked "Do you want to see anything in here?" He replied "Only if you want to do it in the other room and if you are found guilty I will take you your license." I ponder and ask "two points? "Yes, two points." There is dead silence in the room. The spectators are suitably intimidated. I raise my hand and slap it flat palmed on the table and yell DEAL!!!! Beady eyes tries not to laugh, but i got him, he smiles. The gallery likewise tries to stifle laughs.
I return to the courtroom to go before the judge and make it official. Guilty, Guilty as sin!
 
And so it goes in traffic court.
Dec 23, 2009 12:11 pm

Did you ask him if he had an advisor?   

Dec 23, 2009 2:35 pm

At least now you can do the driving school on line to wipe out the points, and don't have to waste 2 Saturdays sitting between the local multi level marketing meth distributor and the chick who brags about being so drunk when she got the citation that she puked on the trooper's ticket book.

Dec 23, 2009 3:04 pm

So, what was in the manilla folder?

Dec 23, 2009 6:22 pm
Spaceman Spiff:

So, what was in the manilla folder?

 
Nothing. i was trying to intimidate him!
 
Seriously, i had pix of the interstate highway where Deputy Dog clocked me showing that it was not a construction zone, and that the zone ended approx 1/2 mile south of where i was timed. The pix at the mile marker noted on my ticket look amazingly unconstruction zoney. Just clear highway as far as the eye can see.
 
Still, it doesn't matter. it's all a money grab. They don't want a trial. In fact, in violation of my constutional right to face my accuser, the officer wasn't present. If you ask for a trial they go for a continuence. This is a violation of rights, afterall, everyone knows when court is in session. The officer should have been there. Once you do have a trial they throw the book at you for making them follow the constitution and have a trial. And you have little chance of success. The three people involved in your trial, the judge, the prosecutor and the officer all draw their paychecks from the same source. Two of the three are political appointees.  And it's all geared to take your money and put it in their pocket. It's wrong, but it is the way it is.
 
 
 
 
Dec 23, 2009 6:43 pm

it's all a money grab. They don't want a trial. In fact, in violation of my constutional right to face my accuser, the officer wasn't present. If you ask for a trial they go for a continuence. This is a violation of rights

 
Add Big Justice to the list of Big Government and Big Business and Unions. Now you know what it feels like to contradict the president.
 
Government equals power. It is not a straight line relationship between size and power. More like compound interest. Comeon all you sixties and seventies boomers, where's your useful anger?
Dec 23, 2009 9:41 pm
Milyunair:

it's all a money grab. They don't want a trial. In fact, in violation of my constutional right to face my accuser, the officer wasn't present. If you ask for a trial they go for a continuence. This is a violation of rights

 
Add Big Justice to the list of Big Government and Big Business and Unions. Now you know what it feels like to contradict the president.
 
Government equals power. It is not a straight line relationship between size and power. More like compound interest. Comeon all you sixties and seventies boomers, where's your useful anger?
 
Yo bro, we made love, not war!
Dec 23, 2009 10:05 pm

True. I'm just trying to figure out what's goin' on. Marvin's still the man.

Maybe the solution to many of our problems will be to legalize weed. Then, it won't matter so much if the the middle class is gone. Be happy.

Dec 23, 2009 10:18 pm

If the officer is not there, they actually approve the continuance???
Sounds fishy...if you had a lawyer, you probably could get off. This day was your day in court.
I guess municipalities are trying to become more efficient at taking money.
...the real crime.